Small Town Telephone: The Subtle Art of Using Others

Secrets, Lies, and the Unseen Web of Opportunity

In a small town, nothing stays secret for long—especially when every conversation is a thread in a web of rumours, alliances, and hidden motives. One casual chat at lunch can set off a chain reaction that spirals out of control. You might not even know it’s happening, but trust me—someone is watching, listening, and waiting for their moment to use it to their advantage.

Talk to Kim after work. Kim’s sister? She’s the one who “stalks” you on Instagram but acts like you’re invisible in public. And in the blink of an eye, what started as a simple exchange can become ammunition in a battle you didn’t even know you were fighting.

In a small town like this, it’s not just about who you know—it’s about who’s using you, and who’s about to turn the tables.

Click, Flash – Screenshot. Did you forget the trail you left behind? It’s curious how quickly admiration can shift when it’s easier to rewrite the story. Did you forget how much you loved it?

One moment, It’s admiration and validation; the next, denial and shifting.

Here’s the thing: People’s perceptions of you are fluid—and often, they aren’t about you at all. They’re about the context, the relationships, and the insecurities others project onto you. That’s why one day you’re the hero, and the next, you’re a ghost.

So, how do you deal with it? First, don’t internalize the shift. Admiration and validation may feel good, but they are external factors, and they don’t define your worth. Secondly, don’t chase the approval of others. Instead, find validation within yourself. When the pendulum swings from admiration to denial, the only person who can truly validate you is you.

Why Some People Want You to Chase Them –

1.) It Feeds Their Ego: When someone knows you’re chasing them, it makes them feel good about themselves. They feel important and wanted, which boosts their confidence and self-esteem.

2.) They Enjoy the Game: For some, the chase itself is exciting. Keeping you interested and unsure makes them feel powerful. It adds drama and keeps things interesting for them.

3.) They’re Afraid of Being Vulnerable: Some people keep you chasing because they’re afraid to get too close or open up. By keeping their distance, they protect themselves from getting hurt or rejected.

4.) They Want Control: By having you chase them, they stay in control of the relationship. They decide when to be close and when to pull away, which can make them feel secure.

Using Others for Growth (From a Healthy Perspective)

1.) Use others as a mirror to build self-worth
When someone makes you chase them, it’s an opportunity to reflect on your own sense of self-worth. Instead of seeking validation from them, you can use this experience to remind yourself that your value comes from within, not from someone else’s approval.

2.) Use emotional detachment to gain perspective
Chasing someone can make you emotionally entangled. Use this situation to practice detachment, learning to care for people without letting their actions control your emotional state. By detaching, you gain more clarity and control over your feelings.

3.) Use the opportunity to master emotional control
When you’re in a chase, emotions can run high—frustration, insecurity, or doubt. Use these moments to practice emotional control! Learning to stay calm and centered, no matter the circumstances. This strengthens your emotional resilience and helps you respond rather than react.

Fun Ways to Celebrate Your Growth After Overcoming the Chase

Throw a “Victory” Party (Just for You)

Sometimes the best celebrations are solo.

• Movie marathon: Watch your favourite feel-good movies or binge-watch a series you’ve been putting off.
• Dance party: Put on your favourite playlist and dance around your living room like no one’s watching. Let loose and celebrate your freedom.
• Guilt-free treat: Order your favourite meal or dessert (ice cream, pizza, sushi—whatever feels like a treat) and savour it.

Follow along for more insider tips on how to become the most upgraded version of yourself—whether it’s mastering emotional control, setting healthy boundaries, or learning to love yourself more fully.